The definition of enmeshment describes a relationship between two or more people in which personal boundaries are permeable and unclear. This often happens on an emotional level, in which two people "feel" each other's emotions or when one person becomes emotionally escalated, and the other family member does as well.

The risks of enmeshment are ever-present.

I don't know about you, but I didn't grow up in a "normal" household. I don't think many people did. This isn't an accurate way to perceive the wide range of lifestyles, cultural differences, and family histories worldwide.

My household consisted of Mama, Daddy, and four daughters living in a rural community. I was the peacemaker and keeper of secrets about the family's true well-being. I stayed home to be sure all was well and functioning while also trying to make a career for myself.
This led to my health falling apart after years of battling Lyme disease. Daddy experienced a heart attack and cancer and struggled with a volatile mental state. My older sisters got married. I lost my ability to walk. My little sister lost the will to live, and Mama nearly did, too.

I looked around and saw my future. There was none in this space. There was nothing more I could do to heal and help everyone when I was crawling in and out of bed.

My family also saw the nature of our reality but were at a loss, so I started by saying what I needed… 

"I need the sun and dry air," I said.

"I need the sea," said Annie.

"I need to get out of here," said Mama 

And that is what we did.

After six months on the road in our 25-foot Airstream with three large dogs, we found ourselves starting to come back to life.

The adventures from this time were incredible, but all the while we were having a beautiful time, our enmeshment with one another went to a new level. 
Three adults, three dogs, 25ft Airstream… no privacy!

I found mine by being hard to find. I would go off alone or with my dog, Bentley Boy, and gradually, I began to build my inner identity.

Time spent alone has and still does teach me like a mentor.

Stepping away from my family was another journey that is too long to tell right now. Still, as I come together with them again in business, I am finding the ways I learned to self-identify and heal from codependency on my own. So have my Mama and Annie, in very different ways. 

While the dangers of enmeshment are still very real, I know that the values, vision, and beliefs I hold for my life and future are just as meaningful as maintaining the love of my family.

It's a tricky path for anyone in a close family to walk, especially so if business is involved. But with daily practice and a willingness to make each other uncomfortable in order to grow… a fulfilling future awaits.